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 Scram 3 |
by Billy O'Keefe
Editor-in-Chief/New Media Editor |
So, what’s your poison? We all have our ills when it comes to the silver screen.
Sometimes, it’s bad acting we can’t stand. Other people can smell a putrid story before the opening credits are finished rolling. And then there’s the whole issue with an ending that can ruin even an already-sloppy movie.
With “Scream 3,” the (hopefully) final chapter in a trilogy that was more about good looking victims and hype than anything remotely scary or suspenseful, you get a little of everything–a lot, in fact.
 The good news is, you don’t even have to point it out anymore. In “Scream 3,” the actors do that for you.
In the final chapter of a trilogy, says one former “Scream” victim via videotape, anything can happen. Since there is nothing to look forward to (not that this film was worth getting excited about, but that’s beside the point), there are no rules, and the main characters are no longer off the hook.
Sounds like fun–except that writer Ehren Kruger, who replaced Kevin Williamson for the final “Scream” chapter, doesn’t see it that way, and no one stands in the way.
That’s too bad because the movie’s gimmick is intriguing. The film takes place on a Hollywood set of “Stab 3,” a fictional film based on the events of the “Scream” trilogy, and the main characters in “Scream” series– Neve Campbell’s Sidney Prescott, Courtney Cox-Arquette’s Gail Weathers and David Arquette’s Dewey Riley – have “Stab 3” counterparts who both emulate and defy them. It’s double the fun, if you will.
But while this less perky version of a Doublemint Gum commercial has its funny moments, a funny thing happens during the course of the movie: nothing. Eventually, we’re left with yet one more laughable pretty-boy-and-girl slash-a-thon.
Who’s the killer this time, you ask? Who cares? The film is so incomplete that the whodunit suspense is anything but. By the end of the film, after a haphazard sloppy joe of non-sequitirs about supernatural beings and final chapters, the killer is revealed as just another random schmuck with a bone to pick. The only scary thing about this one is the hypersappy ending.
In the same vein as “Rocky V,” “Jaws IV” and CBS’ “A Very Brady Wedding,” this horror bonanza’s final chapter will please those who just want to know how it all wraps up. Along the way, you might even laugh a little. But for thrills or chills, go to the concession stand and buy yourself an ice cream cone, because you won’t find either on the screen. |
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