Fingerprinting system deserves the finger

Adam J. Ferington
Commentary Editor

Ryan Duggan/The Chronicle

"The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good bye to the Bill of Rights."

- H.L. Mencken

The New Year has begun-not with a whimper, but a bang. As of Jan. 5, the United States has required the fingerprinting and photography of all foreign visitors at 115 U.S. airports and 14 key seaports as a fierce inauguration to the U.S. Visitor and Immigrant Status Indicator Technology program.

Under the new program, most foreigners are required to have prints of their two index fingers taken, as well as comprehensive digital photos comprised of both facial and profile shots. Information from the screening process will then be indexed with the FBI's criminal watch list against all persons with any prior convictions of statutory rape, drugs and visa fraud. But not murder, weapons trafficking or even good old-fashioned rape of a woman over the age of 18. Apparently those things aren't important.

Said Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge, "It is part of a comprehensive program to ensure that our borders remain open to visitors, but closed to terrorists."

Here's a short, maladroit riff on how your tax money works in government: You pay a large sum of your income that could otherwise be used for drugs, pornography or gambling. Your lost capital is apportioned out to government agencies that do not use the funds to support a diverse and stable economy, a high-quality education system or comprehensive health care. Instead, they squander it on overblown initiatives that violate civil liberties, increase anxiety and paranoia and send the National Treasury spiraling even further into debt. And they manage to make you look like an utter cretin to the rest of the world. In summary, giving the U.S. government your tax dollars is equivalent to purchasing an unwieldy iron stick for a large, angry crank addict in a clown mask that he'll use to bludgeon and sodomize you an inch away from death in front of everyone you've ever had a crush on.

Yes, that was overblown and hyperbolic, and no, I don't particularly care. Pay attention, and don't waste your time sending me letters about my word choices. You delicate types shouldn't even bother getting out of bed if this offends you, because there's a whole weird, nasty world out there and it gets closer to your door every day.

Still with me? Good.

The whole initiative reeks of an Orwellian construct; vid-screens, re-education camps and doubleplusgood displays of patriotism. Nevermind the fact that it smacks of hypocrisy and more than just the slightest whiff of cultural ignorance. Citizens from 27 countries are currently exempt from the screening process, most notably England, France and Germany. This seems to be in spite of the fact that a majority of Western European nations have found themselves the recipients of a steady stream of extremist Muslims immigrants from North Africa and the Middle East within the past five years. Remember, Richard Reid-the so-called "shoe bomber"-was an English citizen. Three months after 9/11 he tried to blast an American Airlines jet he was on out of the sky over the Atlantic Ocean.

Unless screeners at airports intend to compare the incoming European visitor's skin tones with paint samples ("Please step aside sir, you're just a shade darker than Colin Powell") or allow a dog to urinate on a copy of the Quran in order to provoke a flurry of Mohammedan indignation, the zealots are going to slip through.

If the Bush administration really wants to strengthen our national defenses against terrorism, they should allocate funds to first response teams-ambulances, fire and police departments. In the event of another terrorist strike (and don't be surprised if there is one), the situation won't be handled by a crack team of black-clad commandos rappelling from helicopters to save the day like a Michael Bay movie. It has, and always will be the firefighters, police officers and emergency medical technicians who arrive first and stay last. Everyone else is in the details.

But enough about this. I grow tired of this matter and really, words won't make a difference. Besides, you're an American, what do you care? This doesn't affect you, just the foreigners coming into the country to attend our schools, conduct business and spend money on our economy. Who cares if they find it embarrassing, uncomfortable and disrespectful? We're Americans. We can do whatever we want.