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College buys president $10-million South Beach abode to cultivate 'Disney connections'
Columbia has bought President Warren N. Kotter a mansion in Miami's ritzy South Beach neighborhood to help him raise much-needed funds and, in his own words, "have a bitchin' good time."

"President Kotter has many contacts in the South Florida area from his days as director of entertainment arts at Disney," said Executive Vice President Ernie Smythe. "We think that this can be a great opportunity for him to utilize those Disney connections to help raise money for our animation and film programs." FULL STORY »

One graduating senior might receive the president's new digs, if Board of Trustees approves
One lucky senior could get more than a diploma at graduation this year.

The senior will be the owner of the house built earlier in the year for Columbia Warren N. Kotter.

According to Kotter, he will pick one graduate's name out of a box at this spring's ceremony and hand them the keys of his 8,000-square-foot townhouse, which was rumored to cost, including remodeling, $4.35 million. The benevolent plan, however, must still be approved by Columbia's Board of Trustees.

Why such a generous gift? FULL STORY »

Digital Technology junior's taste in movies, music set him apart from too-hip classmates
A new transfer from Truman College finds that his lowbrow taste and lack of artistic or creative sensibility have impeded his ability to fit in at Columbia and make new friends.

Digital Technology junior Tim Bell transferred from Truman College, a Chicago city college, for the spring semester. Bell spends most of his time in the Academic Computing labs or working at home on his computer projects.

"It's been really rough," Bell said. "It seems like all the people I meet know about all these cool movies and music I've never heard of. And they're always going to 'readings' and 'shows' all the time. I like psychic readings as a gag as much as the next guy, but every other weekend? I don't think so." FULL STORY »

Film major lands 'internship' at Blockbuster
Film sophomore John Hackleback emptied the contents of a trash can into a dumpster located behind Blockbuster Video, 2577 N. Clark St., he reflected upon his brief tenure as "intern" at the store, which specializes in DVD and VHS rentals.

"I commend Blockbuster's management for this opportunity," he said as he locked the doors just after midnight. "So far, they've only given me a taste of my options here. I've cleaned the employee bathroom, rewound videos and entered new members' information. Next week, I imagine they'll have me editing film, coordinating with actors and preparing sets." FULL STORY »

Overturned chair mistaken for art exhibit
style of 'accidental art' rivals vaunted 'outsider art'

Columbia officials issued a statement today confirming that what was previously believed to be a new Hokin Annex exhibit is, in fact, an overturned chair with spilled Pepsi on it. Vice President of Student Affairs John Johannsen confirmed that the chair was accidentally knocked over by freshman film major Jessica Wills, who then jokingly spilled a little of her Diet Pepsi Twist on the chair and called it art. FULL STORY »

Student gets way too personal during class introductions
Classmates freaked out by traumatic life story

Suzanne Thompson, a Photography freshman, got way too personal when introducing herself to her Basic Public Speaking class, according to witnesses.

"You know how, like, they go around and ask everybody to talk a little bit about themselves?" said Marketing Communication sophomore Tammy Kzapsinky. "Well, most people say 'Hi, my name is such-and-such and I'm a whatever major and I'm taking this class because blah, blah, blah.' But she's like, going on and on all about this terrible crap that happened to her. I was like, 'Too much information!'" FULL STORY »

Journalism grad lists only 'Columbia' on resumé
Magazine-track student tries to cash in on notoriety of New York's Columbia University School of Journalism

Graduating Journalism senior James N. Biddles is trying to better his chances at landing a first job in his field by listing only "Columbia" on his resume.

"I got so discouraged every time I'd talk to an employer on the phone," Biddles explained. "I'd mention that I am graduating from Columbia in June and they'd say, 'Oh, wow, that's impressive! That's a wonderful program!' After I clarified that I was graduating from Columbia College Chicago, they'd say, 'Oh, that's nice.'"

It was that difference in reaction that spurred Biddles, who is concentrating in magazine journalism, to alter his resume to read only "Columbia," without specifying the city or full name of the college. FULL STORY »

Marketing sophomore's fourth absence due to actual illness
Innocent student caught in trap of department's rigid attendance policy

After ditching three sessions of his Monday morning Introduction to Market Research class, Marketing Communication sophomore Joe Garden cursed his luck when his fourth absence-resulting in automatic failure-was caused by an actual illness.

"Dude, that totally sucked!" the despondent Garden said while smoking Marlboro Ultra Light 100s outside the 623 S. Wabash Ave. building. "I knew I had to straighten my shit up after missing three classes in a row after the first day. And I was going good there for a while. I made two classes in a row, man. I thought I had it all under control." FULL STORY »

Where do your student fees go?
$20 million-Committee Planning Commission on Committee Infrastructure Development.
$4 million-Send Mr. Buttons, an Asian spider monkey wearing a Columbia sweatshirt, into space with Russian astronauts.
FULL STORY »

Commentary
Senior Seminar changed my life!
It's hard to describe what my world was like before I took Senior Seminar at Columbia last semester. Have you seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind" with oh-so-hot Russell Crowe (who was robbed!-I mean, Denzel is OK-looking, but come on!)? I'm sure you all have. Well, you know the part of the movie where, like, for 30 years of his life he was all crazy and hallucinating about Ed Harris (yuck!) and then got electrocuted in the mental hospital?

Well…I guess my life really wasn't like that. But I guess you could say that was kind of a metaphor for what my life was like-dark, dreary, empty, devoid of joy and meaning. That is, until I had the great fortune of taking Senior Seminar last semester.
FULL STORY »

A&E

Dance major denied academic credit for work as stripper
Strip-club owner, instructor don't see eye-to-eye

It was 3 a.m. and Dance senior Anita Jackson, counted a large stack of bills at the end of her shift at Stairway to Heaven, an "upscale gentlemen's club," 2055 N. Halsted Ave., where she's known as "Misti Rain."

She smiled wryly and confessed: "I just earned $1,000 in four hours, but I want more-I want class credit." Her request for an independent project was denied by the Dance chair following intense lobbying by Jackson's Introduction to African Dance instructor, Jenny Johnson.

Johnson said she appreciates Rain going the extra step to gain more experience with her "extracurricular activity" but believes stripping isn't a viable way to enter the professional dance field, however Johnson admits she's never seen Jackson strip.
FULL STORY »

Chicago finds: Columbia's 'Underground Café'
In the perpetual search for human existence, there are times when the Columbia student must eat. He, or she, however, may not know what they are in the mood for. Perhaps they just moved into the dorms and don't know where to go. Maybe they are just really lazy and don't want to leave the main campus building. In any case, there is a fantastic (and under-appreciated) culinary experience not to be missed right on the Columbia campus. It is a little out-of-the-way spot that we like to call The Underground Café.

On walking down the stairs to The Underground Café, the first smell to tempt the diner's nose is an intriguing, complex fragrance with charcoal and smoky undercurrents. The mind conjures up images of a salmon steak, sizzling on an oak grill at a backyard barbeque, or a honey-marinated pork loin roasting on a luau spit. In reality, the savory smell is just the immobile cloud of smoke over the smoking section's patrons. As an added benefit, the smoking section comprises over 95 percent of the café, with much of the non-smoking section smelling as well. FULL STORY »

Tri-quarterly horoscopes
Aries: (March 21-April 19)
In a previous life, you were a Chilean goatherder and an English tavern wench. Well, what did you expect? There's only so many people that could have been Cleopatra or Genghis Khan.
FULL STORY »


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